Debrief

So quick debrief for blog followers:

It was a long process, but I finally came to realize that what I really wanted to do with my academic career was to teach. So I found an amazing program at a local University that ends in a M.A., teaching Credential, and finished Internship in about 18-months time.

I am excited about it! Sure, I’ve been talking about going for Doctoral work in Philosophy or Theology for some time, but I’ve also always only wanted to teach with it and most of doctoral work is in the research. The research part, although I enjoy doing, isn’t necessarily what I wanted to do with my life, it was the teaching.

For now I’m pursuing an English Credential, but Social Studies calls to me as well so down the road I might either switch to that, or tack it on as a second credential.

Where does Philosophy fall? A way of life and thinking. A critical awareness with a desire for continual lifelong search for knowledge and wisdom. What better way to use that than to impart knowledge learned into young people’s minds?

With all that being said:

I’m taking a 100 level technical class this semester which required us to learn to set up a blog. As I already have one, I can use this one for my assignments so figured I would. So look forward to blog posts with new technology stuff that I’ll be using to present in class. Yay!

Utilizing a religious past/education for secular post-graduate pursuits

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As the doors into post-undergraduate education has opened, I’ve been forced to look back into my undergraduate studies for my “best writings” to inspire my applicant writing sample. There’s only one problem…

I went to a Christian college where most of my studies were in Bible. It was only the last year and a half that was spent mostly (3 out of 4 classes) in Philosophy. So looking back into essays I had e-mailed to Professors and thus remain in my storage, I find mostly topics in Christian apologetic and reconciling/criticizing extra-canonical materials.

Out of the 5 years spent in undergraduate education at this private college, it was only the last year of it that I was a full blown Atheist.

This has been leading to bouts of hopelessness and feeling as if years of my academic life were for naught. After all, what doctoral level programs would accept someone whose “best work” is a thesis for accepting the book of Enoch into the Christian cannon? Or for reconciling modern science with theism? (Towards the end, I was more an agnostic theist than anything, and tried to sneak doubts into vague “i’m playing devil’s advocate here” term papers to my very-much-so Christian professors.) Not likely in a highly esteemed secular university where philosophy of evolution, metaethics, and philosophy of language are the hot topics.

My extra-curricular activities included a year long internship as a youth minister, converting people to Christ in a church-funded tent set up in our local county fair, the occasional sermon shared boldly on the subway, and repenting for sexual thoughts over who I was dating.

I intended on concluding this post with some theories, or at least something thought-provoking, but alas I’m at a mental impasse and very discouraged. So a venting blog it is, with a little peer into the author’s past.

High Thought in the Labor world

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I remember the day it first dawned on me that my parents would not be paying me through college. I grew up seeing it as a standard on TV shows, movies, and even among some of my closest friends: parents put their kids through college. Not us, not me. It didn’t dawn on me at 16 when my school put me into a state-assisted job for children in poor families. The depths of it didn’t even dawn on me at 18, working graveyard in a Walmart after my application to a favored (by my church, at the time) private Christian college did not take financial aid (not-accredited) and I was unable to go.

It crept upon me like a sickness.

I scraped by in my first 4 years of college, somehow, without it taking me. I was living in a ministry-based “dorm” in nyc with a minimal (>$500) rent fee. I had high hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Until a divorce, a fall out of faith, and very upset parents left me with no support. I couldn’t live at home, I couldn’t live in a Christian establishment, I had no other option than to devote myself to an entry level job and put a roof over my head. I withdrew from school after bottoming out, and 2 months later got pinned with a bill.

These past 4 years since that time, I’ve waited tables to feed my stomach, keep a roof over my head, and piddle away at my debts.

Fast forward through those years, I’m here with my work (and charity of those close to me) paying off. I have a B.A. to show for it now, officially, but I feel I have lost my mind.

I fast forwarded through those 4 years in this blog for a reason, nothing happened. I worked, sometimes two jobs, just to make ends meet. I lived with my current husband’s family for a little less than half of that. Sure, I’ve done some recreational reading, some (very little) volunteer work, but nothing that is academically pertinent.

Nothing to push me closer to what was my dream and aspiration: teach and research.

After 4 years of manual labor, I can think of nothing else in life than make money, pay bills, have babies, pay more bills, and die hopefully leaving money to my next generation. My mind feels dull, the thirst for information has dried.

How does one rise above the restrictions, woes, and weight of a poverty upbringing and soar into higher education? Engage in higher thinking? Become the philosopher kings?

Thoughts?

Little people

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My post isn’t about drugs or sex. Yeah, it weirds me out that young people do it but that’s mainly because I lived a good Christian life until I got married at 21 and wondered what the hell I’ve been doing with my life.

No. If there’s any one thing I am passionate about and want to leave a ripple of change towards its in our little people’s minds.

Ironically, I don’t want to be in under a collegiate studies. But it it so ironic? I see the problem starting with our next generations mentors. The grown ups. We simple aren’t investing enough in the next generation of our nation.

Yes, that’s mainly America. We have to enforce laws such as “don’t smoke in the car with your baby” cause people are dumb enough to so so. Then we make things like common core or sexual freedom at a young age from their parents because….. Well, shit they’re having sex that young anyway. Parents will only fuck things up because too many can’t allow the teenage stage to be what it is.

Worst yet, the young adults I seek to teach have to go into immense amounts of debt to learn.

Don’t even get me started on the privileges we allow in the name of religion. I wasn’t allowed to have sex ed growing up because of it. When I asked mom what sex is, she handed me a kids biology book which told me nothing. Boy oh boy did that marriage night suck.

I could rant on, but I’ll digress.

What are your qualms with education (and where do you hail from)?
If you have kids, your rearing preferences?

Thoughts on all?