We’re all Monsters

Monster by Skillet. Yes, I'm still very partial to Christian rock and metal bands.

Monster by Skillet. Yes, I’m still very partial to Christian rock and metal bands.

A topic just in time for Halloween. We all have one that creeps out and in hindsight, we look back and cringe at how horribly inhumane we acted. This horrid snarling monster spewing things we would normally never say. It can be a lovely human experience though, something to learn from. Sometimes we can look back and laugh, othertimes it’s just that bad that it never gets talked about.

I had my own instance come to my mind from listening to the radio and I had that revolted feeling wash over me. So before I ask the blogging community to share their own stories of human monsterhood, I’ll share mine.

I was going through the initial separation period before a divorce and I was in a very stubborn, angry, and vengeful stage. Most of my nights were filled with drinking and ridiculously obvious flirtations. Well, kind of. I was (and am) a total geek, so all of my crazy activities were done online in a MMO role playing game. My separated husband played on the same server, in the same guild. So one night our guild held a voice chat karaoke party on a day me and him was not getting along in any way shape or form, and I vengefully plotting how to piss him off with someone I was flirting with.

I chose to sing Timbaland’s “Appologize.” You know the one: “It’s too late to apologize.” Yeah. With him present and knowing damn well what I was doing. He left the group, and, if I do recall, called me to tell me how horrible I was being. Instead of fessing up, I drunkenly professed that I didn’t know what he was talking about.

Separation and break ups bring out the worst in all of us, sure, but that was just some passive-aggressive, spiteful, immature bullshit right there.

So, if you don’t mind sharing, what’s something you’ve done that you look back and cringe over? Make you feel like a monster?

Happy Halloween everyone!


HuffPost: It’s over


Some time ago, I took the plunge into the massive Facebook orgy with all things Huffington Post. I figured, I’m fairly liberal and agree with all their talking points, so let’s get this shit on my newsfeed so I know what’s up in the world, without the right wing slant added. And hey, I don’t have TV series so don’t watch the news. Plus, cute kitten videos.

It did not take long for things to get repetitive. There were many times I asked myself, “wasn’t this posted before?” I wondered for a while if it was just Facebook’s annoying coding, or if HP was really reposting the same article multiple times.

It’s time for the relationship to end. I simply cannot learn the same things 50+ times any longer.

Without further adieu, I’ll celebrate this decluttering of my feed with what I have learned from HP:

  1. All things Feminism.
  2. Mothers are amazing
  3. Motherhood is not as amazing as you think.
  4. Dads and husbands can be cool too. Mar
  5. But mainly, mother’s breast feeding.
  6. All things Abortion
  7. Obama does funny/controversial shit
  8. Approx. 150+ relationship and marriage advice
  9. Approx. 150+ reasons why I should get a divorce.
  10. More reasons that singledom w/o children is awesome.
  11. GUYS LISTEN: “Yes” means “yes,” everything else means “no.”
  12. Cute kittens & Puppies everywhere
  13. Other baby animals are adorable
  14. Marriage equality.
  15. 100+ ways to be more productive/healthy/confidant

In celebration, and without forgetting the purpose of this blog:

How do you go about newsy feeds? What do you read/watch on a daily basis? Basically, what are your thoughts when it comes to all things news/what’s going on the in the world acquisition?

Penny for your Thoughts?

Labels, Lifestyles, and the Like


While on the road to self-actualization and introspection, one will quickly find stories of finding an identity within a community under a word.

Spritual, pantheist, asexual, gay, bi, dom, femme, male, teacher, mother, Christian, Atheist, joker, trans, black, crazy cat lady, republican, bipolar………………..

The amount of words we use to identify ourselves are immensely vast and varying in type and category.

They serve a purpose. Community, fellowship, rapid ability to identify with another. But does it serve to help, or hurt the individual?

Oftentimes, it helps. For a while. They research, ask around, and eventually find self-meaning. Immediately a feeling of “finally!” comes, and joy in finding people to relate and connect with.

The problem comes when you are known as that, and not as you. If the bond is created because of the shared affiliation, when change comes, and it will as life would have it, the community once shared and feeling of belonging falls. A depressed state often follows.

Some labels we do not choose. Our race and our gender are easy examples. These two can be harmful as genitalia do not define gender identification, and race is not often helpful (a black English, a white African, etc).

None of these thoughts are ultimate, as I’m sure they vary. My thoughts, presently, are that in the least labeling leads to decreased introspection. By accepting “I am this”, although it may be true, it can hinder how the individual actualizes that identity. We all know of the varying denominations of Christianity, yet they are all under that umbrella. Digging deeper, within the denomination, almost every individual has at least 1 theological point they differ on. So do we keep creating names? Everyone fleshes out themselves in their own, extremely unique way.

But, I’m curious. Personally, I see the benefits and frustrations with accepting a lifestyle identity or label, but I also see the impossibility of it.

What are your thoughts?

Perhaps, if you will, what are your identities and how do you personally flesh them out that not necessarily everyone under the umbrella term do?

“Feeling bipolar today” – Stop it.


You are not being bipolar. You are not a little bipolar at times. It is not funny, so stop saying it.

Bipolar is not mood swings, no not everyone is “a little bipolar”.

Bipolar disorder is characterized by having experienced two polarities: depression, and mania. There are degrees of severity, but no one who experiences the two extremes think it is something to take lightly.

As someone who has been hospitalized for both a manic episode and a depression episode, watch a father go in and out of the hospital throughout the year, it is hell.

Now I’m all for the fluidity of language. It changes, and with how people use it words mean different things. I still say ” that’s gay” at times, and and still can’t seem to shake saying “Jesus fucking Christ”. But this feels different. Maybe it’s because it is personal.

But this is a disease that people fight. I don’t know why anyone would want yo joke about it, or belittle it into being equivalent with life’s natural swings between happy and sad.

Newsflash: happy is not mania, sad is not depression.

I digress.

Reader: What are your thoughts?