Slut Shaming

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Let’s be clear before I tackle this dead horse ( or is it dead if people still think it just? ): dishonesty is an awfully icky trait to have. I do not endorse the act of “cheating”, but the concept of possessiveness in the entire created restriction on another human being of ” cheating”.

Difficult to put into its proper words when it’s not a concept widely held in our present society.

We still seem to hold great regard and respect for those who maintain a monogamous relationship. Those who seduce, flirt, and “play around” are seen as the lesser. Sexual promiscuity bears a negative connotation or at the least, immaturity. Settling down, that is, obtaining a restricted monogamous relationship , is a goal to be reached.

That there is such a think as shaming or even using the word “slut” anymore is mind blowing to me. Why can not people do as they wish with their lives without judgment? Why see it as a cry for attention? Perhaps, some seek affirmation from others by sexual acts. And perhaps, that is not optimum in it’s depth of implication… But it would not seem that outward judgment aids anything.

Ultimately, love and honesty in all things. If one isn’t honest with him/herself, no matter how they live and act sexually and otherwise than they are cheating only themselves.

But alas, my words always fall short of what I wish to communicate. Discourse aids that. So:

Penny for your thoughts?

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3 thoughts on “Slut Shaming

  1. My view on relationships may be flawed to most being in my situation. Most people would consider My wife and I not in a loving or happy relationship so Ill keep my focus on the slut shaming thing.

    First of all it happens to men too. Single men tend to get seen as players and single women have way worse of a rap because they sleep with 1-2 guys or even one night stand all of her sexual credibility is shot. Men though IN relationships look at another girl or flirt and they are instantly cheating dogs. Women have a little bit easier here.

    Outside of the opinion of their mate its more often viewed as her having fun. Girls that dace on guys at the club and shoot glances at men get more of a “you go girl” response than a man would. Not saying there isn’t the “slutty” backlash from jealous girls and some super opinionated people but its less. Most other men will encourage it as it’s a chance for them to get in.

    I have found this with Nikki and I trying to date. She and I are about the same amount of attractive, we both have similar things to offer. She is incredibly hot and is fun (what men like). I am decently attractive intelligent and can hold conversation ( more what women want) yet when we both try and are honest about our situation men are either indifferent of even encouraged by her being in a relationship. I get noses turned up at me and ignored online messages.

    The need for free love is high. The digging deep investment in people that we find our selves in shouldn’t be restricted to each new partner and stage in our life. Less the boxes we stand in and more catching rain drops in our hands. Grasping for what we need when we need it.

    • Yeah I kinda jumped between two topics in this one… Hard not to when they do meld into each other..

      True. It’s a two way street.

      Girls are bitches when it comes to the gossip. I get asked far too often things like “are you two fighting?” “Are you in love with him?” over one night out without him. The same if he goes out without me… And plenty more gossip about other women. Up front, there’s the “drop it girlfriend!” but in the back plenty of whispering. Men if they do the same, seem to get the “maybe he’s cheating?” rumors. It’s all weird.

      It’s so unfortunate that it turns out that way…. But even on a friendship level, it happens. Which is, to me, more mind boggling. The S.O. gets protective and possessive when all ya wanna do is chat and play a game together.

      You two are indeed incredibly awesome. Which deserves the best, and that does not come easy. But it’ll come, I’m sure.

      It is. I think there are many like myself too. Preaching and believing in free love, but living otherwise. I haven’t concluded yet whether this is hypocritical. I’m sure there are people who are just the mono type. I don’t question it of people, unless there are inconsistencies in their thought process……..

      Ugh. In all things morality and what I write about… To me it’s a conversation. There aren’t fixed objective answers. Finding truth or… Whatever it can be called… Is this awesome dance with all humanity. Everyone having a part. I don’t know if I know a damn thing about anything. I just find growth with each word.

      I do feel too many restrictions that remain in society are unnatural and serve no purpose. The social stigma, rumors, back talk, and ignorance can deter many from breeching over those unaccepted concepts… But hell we’ve gone leaps and bounds in other things.

      Good thoughts. Made me think a lot more on this topic. Maybe in too much excess.

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