7 reasons friend zone talk needs to stop.

The easiest and most aesthetic way of doing is by addressing memes. No one likes reading walls of text, unless you’re a reader. Let’s get started:

1 Because obtaining an opposite sex bff is like dying.

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I don’t know about you, but I have no interest in fucking brothers. Figurative siblings is a tight bond, one that surpasses sexuality and enters into a “you are blood” realm.

Please don’t paint men out to be incapable of this perspective and love. You’re only undermining the sex and perpetuating negative stereotypes.

2. Because adults are incapable of meaning what they say.

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I’m sorry, do the words “let’s watch a movie” mean something else? Is there an English dialect I am not aware of?

Oh, haha, you think it means sex! I’ll remember this next time my mom asks me this.

3. Because no one ever regrets an incapacitated drunken screw.

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Yeah, no. This is called taking advantage of a person. Mind you, I am of the belief that decisions made with the use of inhibition removing additives are, in fact, still a persons conscious decision. I do not, entirely, believe a drunken fuck = rape. However, neither is it a healthy way to move from friend to something else.

Neither does a screw = a relationship.

This too often leads to regret. Not because it’s wrong, but because it’s often too soon and done without much thought. Be respectful, ask yourself “does she really want this with me? Would she do this sober?”

The further problem with this is… It just sounds rapey. Let’s not use drugs to just get someone in the sack, shall we?

4. Because I am entitled to sex.

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Really? Get pissed when it doesn’t screw? I’m assuming this translates to you are mad when a female does not want to let you into her pants and says “no”.

Hm. Really think about that one. If you see women as walking sex objects, you may want to reevaluate your ethics and level of regard for human beings.

5. Because let’s completely belittle asexual people, make it seem like they can not never have meaningful relationships, and make a persons sexual orientation a joke.

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This one is plain disgusting. On every level imaginable. Why is sex the crossing line between… Shit, anything? Why can’t asexuals have a meaningful relationship? Why the hell would you see the mate as anything less than a mate?

This furthermore assumes the asexual partner is forcing asexuality on their partner, when this just isn’t the case. Newsflash, sex is sex. Love is not possessive, it permits people yo be themselves in every capacity they can. It celebrates expression and self-hood, doesn’t restrict it.

6. Because I still adhere to social stigmas of monogamous relationships and further perpetuate this with stupid memes.

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I’ve written about this one a lot. Let’s continue to perpetuate the idea that a person can not have sex with whoever they want because their significant other refuses to let them. Because, you know… LOYALTY!! *fist in the air*

7. Because we are incapable of communication.

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Hypothetical adult conversation #1, without like leading to sex.
Man: Hey, I really like you.
Woman: Me too!
The end.

Hypothetical adult conversation #2, with leading to sex:
Man: Hey, I really like you.
Woman: Me too!

Only difference is somewhere down the line in the relationship, a move will be made and either there is a “yes” or a “no”.

The most fulfilling relationships I have had with men have been open and honest. Cause, ya know, I don’t associate with ignorance, manipulation, and coniving behavior. I’ve had some propose sexual relationships either as friends-with-benefits ( hate the use of ” benefits”… But for now I’ll go with it) and some as a relationship. Guess what? I’m either attracted to them or not. Surprise surprise: I communicate this and we either move forward sexually, or move forward non-sexually. Either way, we move forward. Not having sex isn’t a roadblock or mean our relationship is anything less, just means it doesn’t jive that way. Not everyone in compatible or mutually attracted to each other in a sexual way.

Let’s make that OK and act like adults, not children shall we?

For more memes like these, as well as inspiration for this post, go here:

What about you? Anything I left out? Disagree with anything?

Penny for your thoughts and a nickel for your honesty?

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Parroting

http://YouTube.com/jpmqMW5ilFQ

Hope that works, embedding youtubes into my posts from my tablet doesn’t work too well. If not, search “Kanon Tipton is baby preacher reborn again”.

If you’re too lazy, quick I usually am : it’s a 3 min clip of a 4-year old boy preaching and speaking in tongues on a church pulpit.

That people truly believe this is an ” anointing of the holy ghost” is mind-numbing.

I recall as a young person, I recall children as young as 3 going up to the stage of our church to kneel and pray. Pastor would admonish us to not see it as cute, but as a sincere show of faith by the children and an moving by God upon their little souls.

This is absurd. The children are following what their parents and church family is doing. They dance during songs because that’s what they see, they raise their hands and shout because…. Everyone is doing it!

As they get older, it continues for a while. As a pre-teen, there was a year in Bible camp that I stood up and “prophesied” in chapel. I can’t recall what it was, but it was the usual vague nonsense. The pastors confirmed to the rest that this was a word from God, and the attention I got from my peers was affirming and pretty awesome as I was never a popular kid.

It’s quiet easy yo do. Just follow the pattern. When has a Pastor or “prophet” ever been original? Tongues all sound the same, just baby babble. Intonations and inflections follow similar patterns. Just follow the flow.

But hey, then again, we’re all just very complex machines anyway, right? Built with hardware and grown with uploaded software. What makes religion any different or unique?

But, what are your thoughts?

Illness of the mind

I haven’t typed about this publicly so this will be a very vulnerable first. Something that I am tired of not being talked about by too many people. It’s embarrassing and filled with social stigma.

They tell us to get over it, to stop being so melodramatic. They ignore us because they can’t handle our constant “negative talk” and pain. Tell us to smile. To be happy. That there are people in worse shape than us. That suicide is selfish. That we’re being self-centered. When all we feel is nothing. Not sadness, not anger. Depression as an illness is nothing. A void of emotion.

My dad was found in the one position we who battle our mind’s dysfunction know all too well: curled on the floor. Unresponsive. Numb. Closed to the world and lost.

I say, the silence is what is killing us. The hiding only breeds more hiding. We don’t express because we fear what everyone will say.

We fear.

But we function. When allowed to. In previous posts, I shared about three individuals who opened themselves to be: one a female in a man’s body who suffered rape, horrid hate-beatings, slander and in her deepest unseen self struggled with self-mutilating depression; a schizophrenic who was finding her voice, A Beautiful Mind, fully functional despite the hallucinations that scare too many people from her; and a heroine addict who poetically found her expression in Sixx A.Ms The Heroine Diaries and whose eyes would alight when people talked to her as a person, vulnerable and herself, struggle and all.

We insist on accepting the physically handicapped and do all we can to tell them they are not less, just different. But still stigmatize mental illness, too many ignoring it as curable if we only tried hard enough.

I say be. Everything you are, and fuck the naysayers and degraders. Find your dance. Don’t smile if you don’t want to. Be manic, then crash. I’m not saying not to get help, do. Don’t allow it to handicap, and don’t be ashamed when it does. This is our struggle and our hand and it’s not less. Just is.

I’m going to do all I can not to delete this because I fear the pity comments or the ignorant “this isn’t a real disease” or whatever shit people do when these things go public. I did all I can to express this, but novels can and have been written on it.

To see more and my poetic ode to my father and myself, see:

https://poeticdoubt.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/an-ode/

Penny for your Thoughts? A nickel for your introspection?

Slut Shaming

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Let’s be clear before I tackle this dead horse ( or is it dead if people still think it just? ): dishonesty is an awfully icky trait to have. I do not endorse the act of “cheating”, but the concept of possessiveness in the entire created restriction on another human being of ” cheating”.

Difficult to put into its proper words when it’s not a concept widely held in our present society.

We still seem to hold great regard and respect for those who maintain a monogamous relationship. Those who seduce, flirt, and “play around” are seen as the lesser. Sexual promiscuity bears a negative connotation or at the least, immaturity. Settling down, that is, obtaining a restricted monogamous relationship , is a goal to be reached.

That there is such a think as shaming or even using the word “slut” anymore is mind blowing to me. Why can not people do as they wish with their lives without judgment? Why see it as a cry for attention? Perhaps, some seek affirmation from others by sexual acts. And perhaps, that is not optimum in it’s depth of implication… But it would not seem that outward judgment aids anything.

Ultimately, love and honesty in all things. If one isn’t honest with him/herself, no matter how they live and act sexually and otherwise than they are cheating only themselves.

But alas, my words always fall short of what I wish to communicate. Discourse aids that. So:

Penny for your thoughts?

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Person tree by Pooktre

“When you’re green, you’re growing.”

My pastor used to say this constantly. It has always stuck with me. Agriculturally, once ripe the product is on it’s way towards death. There is nothing more to obtain. If green, the product is still in the growth stage.

It’s life applications are immense. Surely, we have all encountered people who believe they have obtained – something. Whatever it is, they are complete. Finished. They have closed themselves to growth or change. Whether it be a profession, an idea, or a state of being.

There are also those who are growing and ever open. Society seems to at times see this as an immaturity, with “maturity” being a goal.

Why?
If we cognitively believe we have obtained the goal, we can go no further. Perhaps there is some truth in the Jesus of the Bible exclaiming that it is the children who lay hold of the kingdom of god. Stripped of it’s theology, it holds much truth. Imagination, curiosity, exploration: that is living.

Or is it? What are your thoughts? Is there anything in life that should necessarily be obtained at some stage? Is greenness a weakness?

Penny for your thoughts?