Perspective on Rape

Food for thought

Food for thought

I am usually the very philosophical type. However, with the past ongoing discussion on rape being carried out here and originally here, as well as on this blog’s Facebook, it has proved to be an emotionally charged topic. Rape is more than a concept, it is an evil reality that 1 out of every 3 women has had happen to them.

The above brings a pertinent perspective for the male audience: How would you handle rape if it was your daughter?



8 thoughts on “Perspective on Rape

  1. It is unfortunate that so few people understand what rape actually is. Boys and girls alike aren’t taught about consent, so when rape happens they are not given the tools needed to properly assess and deal with the situation. Parents need to realize that consent should be taught in early childhood. We don’t allow our children to hit each other or take toys from one another but we allow them to force themselves on each other where hugs are concerned. When one child hugs a child that doesn’t want to be hugged, how often do we separate the children and say to the hugging child “did you ask before you hugged so-and-so?” I think that that is a vital part of raising children, otherwise we are not teaching them that they must respect each others autonomy. Instead we are teaching children that it is appropriate to violate another person’s bodily autonomy in certain circumstances. I don’t think that rape would be nearly as common if young children were taught about consent.
    As or the quote and how men tend to deal with such things, I think that that can create more problems. Boys and girls are raised to see each other as the ‘other.’ As a result, many fathers are far too overprotective of their daughters because they see girls as dependent and innocent, where as boys are supposed to be aggressive and sex-crazed. Both are obviously untrue, but we buy into those stereotypes so easily. I think that many of the fathers that you were aiming your question at would see their daughters as innocent victims if they were raped, but any other girl is a slut or whore who lied or drank too much or “asked for it” in some other way. I don’t think we should be focusing on father, daughter, mother, son. We should be focusing on the fact that we are all equals and we are all humans. We all have bodily autonomy and we all need to accept that we can’t go around touching people without their permission.

    • I really like the comment made by hessianteeth. We keep perpetuating this rape myth that doesn’t account for rapes that occur because of a lack of consent – which we often don’t treat as “legitimate” instances of rape. We definitely need to start discussing consent, because the lack of it is what’s allowing so many rapes to occur.

      • Yes! I loved the above comment as well. Thank you both for contributing your comments and thoughts. It’s very appreciated.

        I’ve been talking with so many people about this issue of consent, and it is very clear that it is not a fully understood concept. Not many can seem to agree on the lines, which is unfortunate. There definitely needs to be more discussion around this, and I am glad you agree!

      • I agree with all of the observations made. One thing I would add is that giving an initial consent is not binding. One may change one’s mind at any time. I got this idea from healthcare informed consent. It doesn’t matter if the patient signs an informed consent document, the patient may change their mind at any time and refuse treatment. But, if the patient does not express their change of mind, the document is assumed to be an accurate representation of their wishes.

        So, I would want to stress that consent is ongoing and may be reversed at any time.

      • That is such a great point. I This is definitely one of the most overlooked, disregarded problems contributing to “grey-area” rape. This is also, I think, where the woman (because most victims are women) may feel most pressured to consent beyond her will because she gets bullied or coerced into sex because she’s already given consent – taking that consent back can be very difficult.

    • Thank you for taking the time to read and write such a lovely response!

      I whole-heartedly agree. I had this conversation just yesterday when I first breached this topic about teaching consent, and the need for proper education. It needs to be done equally for both girls and boys, this concept of consent. I’ve found it too true that all we are teaching is our girls how to protect themselves, when this only puts a band-aid on the issue, rather than prevent it from happening.

      • I agree. About a month ago the vlogger/sexologist Laci Green came to my university and she mentioned that consent can be revoked. I think it’s also her who mentions the idea of an enthusiastic yes. Basically, “uh…maybe?” isn’t enough. In order to get consent the person’s “yes” must be obvious.

  2. Pingback: NotParticularlyPauciloquent

Penny for your thoughts....? Do share them here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s