Men are from Mars…

men are, women are


“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” The implication of this phrase is that the female and male gender act differently, think differently, process things differently and simply are, in conclusion: different. There have been many a book written trying to grapple with just what these differences are, including one with the phrase as the title.

Although there is natural truth to be found in this understanding, I have always really struggled with addressing it. I do not like it, nor do I entirely agree with it as an absolute statement.

However, my problem is not with the designation of “differences,” but in the “male” and “female.” It is simply not true in all cases, and therefore is not something I can accept. It’s as inappropriate, to me, as saying “girls have long hair, boys have short hair.” The issue is with the implied “all”, and, as with most things, generalizations are usually not entirely accurate.

But, rest assured, this is not a post about sexism, feminism, or misogyny. This is a post attempting to discover the true reality behind the accepted idiom.

Surely, most people will accept the removal of the implied “all.” Not all females are feminine, and not all males are masculine. It, also, does not have anything to do with sexual preference as there are masculine heterosexual females, masculine homosexual males, and so on.

So then, “Masculinity is from Mars, Femininity is from Venus” seems to be more accurate.

So where does femininity and masculinity come from if not from the assumed sex? My belief, and it seems Biology would support this, is that it is the hormones: Testosterone, and Estrogen. Some others are in their too, but those two are the usual mainstream understood hormones.

I must digress here though.

It seems we are still different. We still disagree, and we still see things differently.

What exactly are the differences? How can we reconcile them? Can we come to understand each other and what can we do to better expedite this process? What expressions, acts, generalities of either is considered by media/mainstream as weaker in a harmful way? What is usually assumed to be a “masculine” or a “feminine” trait that is just another untrue generalization?

And so many more questions…. Pennies, many pennies for your Thoughts!


3 thoughts on “Men are from Mars…

  1. What makes us different? What can make us different? If we strip away the physical differences there is but how we think or see the world and understand it.

    The book of the same name, I believe, was attempting to explain why men and women see things differently yet this is not a functional way to understand the problem.

    male and female anatomy does indeed affect the ways in which we think but not to the point that it can be assessed such that a quiz can tell us if we are masculine or not. There are some physiological bits at work here but it is far more probable that we see the sexes thinking differently because of what they are taught as children.

    • I think it awfully unfortunate that we make it ( or, have made it historically/culturally?) such a distinct dichotomy when it simply it.

      I hate to throw personal shit into the mix, but sometimes, it works as an example to what I mean. Soooo, for example: I’m a female INTP (the famous Myer’s-Briggs Type Indicator) . Only 1-3% of the female population in the US are this, compared to 3-7% male INTPs.

      That is to say…. personality can be far more complicated than just the M or F.

      • Personality is comprised of experience and understanding mixed with the quirks of the thinking machine between our ears. Physiologically they are much the same and there are some gender based differences – to look at these we can read the writings of those who suffer gender disphoria to see that how we think and what we’re taught to think play a major role in who we are. This explains in part the similarities of twins and oddly enough, the dissimilarities in behavior and preferences.

        Lazy minds seek a one size fits all answer – truth in a cheat sheet way. Life and knowledge is not graduated this way, the lines are blurry much of the time and figuring out there is a spectrum rather than compartments is often the hardest part. Rather than two planets the story should be of a billion planets or more.

        The ways we teach children to think (or did) were harmful to male and female and all in between. If you’re male you are supposed to like sports. If you’re black you’re supposed to know how to dance. If you’re female you’re supposed to like pink. Children absorb these kinds of rules and then later grow up wondering why the world is not so compartmentalized as they were taught. Some boys like pink and some girls like sports and all kinds of people like to dance but some just don’t. Some think about philosophy and some philosophize about thinking and some (many) don’t do much of either one.

        You didn’t ask, but I’ve got Katatonia queued up on the music player.

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